Monday, October 27, 2008
This past Friday I found out that my Grandma McGuire passed away. I had so many emotions running inside of me that the only way I could deal with them was by sobbing. Having just had a baby and still full of hormones, I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Yet, having someone you care so much about pass away would grant many tears no matter what.
She had a goal that before she passed away she wanted to see my baby and try to be at his blessing if she could. The weekend I had Hunter we could not get a hold of grandma. Finally, she was able to receive an email with pictures of him. She wrote to me on Wednesday, "Stacie and Chuck, I am so jealous that I can't be there and hold that baby, you will just have to give him and extra hug for me. He is so precious Stacie. Anyway give him a big hug and a kiss for me. Love Grandma"
I knew she wasn't doing well and all I could think about was finding a way to get Hunter to Arizona so that she could see him in person. With Hunter's jaundice, I knew it would not be a possibility until he was done with his light therapy. Then I found out she passed away. I struggled with the concept that I was not able to have her see him in person, yet I knew with her having passed on, she could see him as often as wanted. I felt so blessed to have gone through the whole delivery ordeal which meant that Hunter arrived early. Because of this, grandma was able to see pictures of him and I was able to have some last words from her. What a blessing that was.
My Aunt Kelly asked that we write down a memory to share about Grandma. This is not my most favorite memory (that is a memory I don't share), but one of my favorites: "Being a grandchild that lived farther away, one of my favorite memories with grandma is when she was on her mission and we emailed back and forth. I wrote her diligently every week and she always responded with a personalized email just for me. We grew very close during that year and a half and I learned a lot about her. She made sure to share her testimony with me in each email. I have no doubt that she believed the gospel to be true. I have no doubt that she believed in a loving Heavenly Father. I know she had a close relationship with our Savior. After her mission, she and I stayed in touch by emailing or by having heart felt visits when we were together. I will always treasure the conversations we had and the time she took to tell me about her love for me and the gospel."
I will miss my grandma incredibly, but I know she is in a better place free of all pain and cancer free. Her funeral is Wednesday and I pray that Hunter's jaundice levels will be down so he can get off his light therapy and we can make it to Arizona for her funeral. I just want to say how grateful I am to have a knowledge about the Plan of Salvation. It is a blessing to have such great examples live on this earth and then leave a legacy for their posterity to follow. I hope to be like my grandma and I hope that my children will know what a wonderful woman she was. Sometimes when I see Hunter smile in his sleep, I can't help but think the veil is so thin that he is spending time with her. If so, I hope he visits her in dream land often.